Friday, March 27, 2015

Mist

Yesterday was a gray and rainy day. I drove west to Hampton Bay mid-day and was fascinated with the way the gray, misty sky changed the landscape. The stark, bare winter trees looked even more pronounced against the gray sky, their craggy, twisted shapes standing vigil against the last days before they begin the Spring wake-up.

Distant vistas disappeared in the mist, water, fog, sky all running together from bottom to top in various shades of gray.

Driving home the fog was heavier and the driving trickier. I could not see far enough in front of me to drive with confidence, so it was a slower trip going home. Objects emerged out of the wall of white and I worked my way home cautiously. It was better as I got in to East Hampton but I was glad to be home.

Of course, I'm always glad to be home.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Numbers

I will soon be posting  a blog for the two thousand, five hundredth time. Which makes me realize I've been doing this for nearly eight years now. And that really brings home the whole concept of time flying.


When I think if the things that have happened in my life in the last eight years it boggles my mind. I lost my mother and my mother-in-law. I lost my dearest friend. I gained a daughter-in-law and four grandchildren. I battled cancer. I mean, these are major lifetime things we're talking about! No wonder middle-age is so stressful!

So now I want to go back and begin reading my posts through these past eight years and see what reflections I had on some of those life-changing moments. It might be interesting to see if my thoughts changed over those years and through those trials and celebrations. If my posts are a reflection of life, they'll be all over the place.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Walking

It's been awhile since I exercised regularly. Mostly my own fault, because I don't like doing it alone. I also can easily let it go if there's no accountability. Same with my eating. I seem to do best with motivation and accountability.

Of course motivation often comes with desire in life, so if I enjoy doing something-if it's fun, or fulfilling, or satisfying in some way-I manage to get the job done. But one of my great faults is that if I don't enjoy something, it's easy to not do it. Diet and exercise are perfect examples. I hate them both. Therefore I have no problem not doing them.

So finally, I have found another walking partner. And I have started exercising again. I admit it feels good. I mean I hate it, but I'm glad I'm doing it.

Next up, get the diet in line. I'm going to try to cut added sugar and fat out of my routine. Not an easy task, but it's a goal.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

See saw

T
he weather this month makes me dizzy. It's been a real see saw of temperatures with sunny, warm days followed by snow and frigid air. This week the bottom has fallen out again and I pulled a scarf off the shelf when I had to go out yesterday. It was cold out there!

March has always been a month of fluctuation and guesswork. I have to check the weather channel every morning to know how to dress before I leave the house.

But, this is the last week full of March and in no time at all April will be here. April, the month of daffodils and bird song, green grass and no coats. April is a bit magical as it lulls us into the rebirth of  the earth-the glorious beauty of spring.

I look forward to April. But we still need to get through the last seven days of March now...

Monday, March 23, 2015

Missing

It's been one year now since my oldest and dearest friend left this earth. The sharpness of the pain has lessened, but the ache and sadness never will.

I've learned that losing such a dear friend has been very much like losing a parent. There's an emptiness that will never be filled. Because there were shared memories and experiences that no one else will ever know. Your histories are so intertwined that it seems a piece of your past has suddenly disappeared - poof! - and no one else will ever know you the way that person did.

We came of age together. We shared feelings and dreams and moved from young, stupid girls to wives and mothers, all along the way learning from each other how to do it better. We grew up together, helping each other navigate the tricky world of adulthood. We were always there for each other.

A hole that will always be unfilled.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Wintry blast

Friday night we ventured out into the snow to meet friends for dinner. The four of us have not been able to sit and eat together in a couple years as circumstances have prevented us for various reasons. But I've missed their company and I was determined to keep this date despite the winter storm.

By the time we headed out to meet them at the appointed hour there was a nice coating of snow on the ground-probably two or three inches-and it was coming down steadily. The restaurant was warm and cozy and we settled in for a nice meal and a chance to catch up on each others' lives.

Two hours later we had talked about our families and what we'd been up to over this past year, and left with full stomachs and equally full hearts. Old friends are valuable commodities, not to be let go easily. It was good to reconnect.

Walking out into the night was a special late-winter treat. The snow had covered everything with a perfect layer of white and it was a sparkling wonderland. Some snow seems as though it's infused with glitter and this was one of those. Everywhere the light struck it, from the streetlights to the headlights, it glistened like diamonds. It was beautiful.

Once home we sat in front of the fireplace and I savored what is likely to be one of the last gasps of this winter.  I loved it.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Spring?

So it is officially Spring. And I love seeing a new season upon us. Especially Spring because it's one of my favorites.

Today I had planed to get outside and look for the signs. The weather is supposed to be great but a new layer of snow landed last night so I don't think it's going to happen now. Soon I hope to catch sight of a crocus poking through the ground. That would be nice! Our landscaping has taken a real hit in this brutal winter and we need to take stock. We planted a number of new bushes and most of them didn't survive. It's a big hit for us financially because putting them in was a stretch for us and having to replace them will really be difficult. It will mean some other projects won't get done.

We have so many projects on the list this year. The trim needs painting outside, a picture window needs replacing, two attic windows need replacing, the front porch needs painting.....and so it goes. Something won't get done if the bushes end up being pulled. It must be nice not to always have to make choices about what gets fixed that needs fixing!

I know there are people who don't need to make those lists of priorities. They simply hand someone the list of things to do and poof! They get done. It doesn't happen that way for most of us though, so I know everyone can identify. Which thing is going to completely break down first? Which thing needs to be done before someone gets hurt? What can we live with the way it is for another year...or two?

Well, what will be will be. When I look at the old movies we just had put on DVDs it reminds me of the days we had no landscaping at all. And everything needed fixing or painting. So keeping things in perspective I'll walk around the yard today making my list and then put it in order of priority. And then take a moment to thank God I can even make a list.